Tuesday, 9 October 2012

Sorry sexy lady, but I just really cannot take it when you..

Listen sexy ladies around the world, I love you, I really do. But unfortunately, no matter how sexy you may be, there are a few cardinal sins that even you cannot commit. Failure to comply will result in an immediate disqualification from the "Omg that girl is so hot" zone.


 Okay so I know this post sounds sexist, and it probably is, but in fairness, along with the top 5 major turn offs (women's edition) I will be doing a top 5 major turn offs (men's edition). I'll be listing 5 things that a guy (muah) cannot stand, and 5 things an imaginary girl (also me) cannot stand. Got your attention yet? Hot dang!
 

My personal list of MAJOR turn offs in women

1. Being late for a date. I cannot stress this point enough, when you are going for a date, there is a magic window. For example if you are supposed to meet at 7pm, the window is usually about 15 to 20 mins after 7, not like HALF AN HOUR OR SO! I'm sorry but even if you were "Felicia Chin" hot, I'd still not be very interested after waiting so long

2. Being superficial. "Omg that dog is so cute, I just wish I had a cute dog to go along with all my cute accessories and cute dresses".

3. Eating rabbit food. UGH! SALADS FOR DINNER? GIVE ME A BREAK! My ideal girl would be able to get down and dirty with me and my burger.

4. Wearing very little clothes. Okay so here's the thing about men, if you haven't found out already. We enjoy seeing very little clothes on women, except that if it's our girlfriend, I'm sorry you gotta cover up A LOT MORE! Don't ask me why, it's a guy thing.

5. Smokers. I'm sorry, it's just a personal thing. I don't like kissing people who have smelly mouths, I'm a hygienic freak that way.


So in order to not be labelled a sexist, here's a list that I came up with if I were a woman.

My personal list of MAJOR turn offs in men

1. Being smelly. (EW!) Like hello! Sweaty guys are hot to look at, NOT SMELL AT! Please if you want to even come near me, take a shower first. And more soap please, you could use it Mister...

2. Being a pussy. Like if some old man comes on the train and he looks as if he is going to collapse but you don't offer him your seat, WE ARE DONE WUSS!


3. Being a sex maniac. I know I'm hot and you want me but ewwwe, I'm not some toy you can use whenever you want douchebag.

4. CALLING ME FAT! Oh no you DIDN'T!

5.  Guys who have big upper bodies but small calves. Like you know, big chests, big arms, nice abs, but then tiny chicken legs.. (I'm talking about calves, not any other part that belongs exclusively to the male sex), oh and while I'm at it, guys who always take pictures half naked? With their shirts off? Super Gross, you only need one good photo for me to check out, and then you can cover up and let me imagine you with your shirt off. (tehehee)
 

(what a douche)
 

HAHAHAA Okay so that's me imagining I was a girl, pretty convincing right? I think I'd make an awesome woman by the way.

13 comments:

  1. hahahah i started laughing while reading.
    especially #5 turn off in men. while i dont like to comment on people's appearance, they're somehow... true. sad to say. lol
    for some reason when im reading them i could imagine ryan higa having a video version of this, mainly because of the way you type i guess. well, it's actually a compliment.

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  2. Hi there! aww thank you for your kind words. Yeah I personally don't believe in judging people, but it's just an unbearable phenomenon in guys nowadays that I just had to say something about it!


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  3. as you said, you just need one good photo of yourself, but you posted 2. haha. btw all the best to the screening of your new movie.

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  4. It was meant to be an oxymoron.. Ah thank you! Appreciate the support! :)

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  5. well in that case you should have posted more than 2. haha! :) you are welcome!

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  6. AGREE AGREE AGREE!!!
    Major turn offs in men #5! Totally cannot stand guys with super big upper body but small tiny legs.. I wonder how they balance :x

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  7. HAHAHA OMG YOU'RE SO SPOT ON! and all the funny points... I must say you can understand females pretty well :) That's considerate! (Y)

    :D

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  8. Hahahaha I won't mind pigging out with you because it's FOOOOOOOOD

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  9. Maybe it's a bit late for me to read through this posted but it's all truth and was funny !! :) By the way, Ah boys to men was a great movie ✌

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  10. 'My ideal girl would be able to get down and dirty with me and my burger.' Is that an euphemism? 'eyebrows raised twice'

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  11. haha~ what you describe is really true ~ but it is only the basic of some men and woman's thought, still need time to get along with the person we choice then we will know if he/she is the right one ~ like your writing style! :)

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